Cullen on the battlefield: MEN! MARCH ON! WE’LL SHOW THEM WHAT IT MEANS TO FACE THE FORCE OF THE INQUISITION! RAISE YOUR SWORDS HIGH AND YOUR SHIELDS HIGHER FOR WE WILL KILL THESE DEMONS AND CLAIM VICTORY IN THIS BATTLE! MAY ANDRASTE GUIDE US ALL. Cullen talking to the inquisitor: haha hey…. so……. you.. you like.. stuff? stuff is my favourite… thing … [leans on desk] so.. [slips and falls] FUCKwait no let me start again shit makers breath [glass bottles start falling everywhere] please wait-
i’m just sitting here dying of laughter thinking about McGonagall looking over Harry in first year like yeah the kid gets into some dangerous shenanigans but it always seems to be for a greater purpose and his heart’s in the right place and he’s so sweet and quiet usually, clearly he takes after his mother Lily thank goodness this is good this boy is good
and then dead ass one year later kid shows up to school crashing into a tree with his bestie in a flying car instead of just owling the damn school that they’d missed the train and she’s just like DING DONG I WAS WRONG
i assume that, like, all of nyc is in on a conspiracy to hide the truth about blunt force head trauma from daredevil. like, to… protect his feelings??? the cops must be like “oh, yeah buddy, you really dinged those bad guys up! they’ll be feeling it for weeks! they’ll really think twice about Doing A Crime again.” when like, in reality, they are dead. they are dead people. they got busted in the head six times with a carbon fibre rod, and they died en route. i mean lets get real. daredevil showing up to the hospital with self-help books about starting over, “i’d like to drop these off for some of the bikers,” and the nurses all look at each other like, “uh… oh, honey, they were transferred to metro… north…. yeah, insurance thing. we’ll hold onto those for you.” they are all dead matt they’re dead. church is cool but maybe you should spend some more time on the Medical Side of wikipedia
reckless & terribly gay 