me on December 24th: shit SHIT shit SHit sHIt shITshitshitSHIT it’s 9:02 and I’m fucking late again. Um-uh… rent reNT RENT RENT RENT RENT!!!!! Hold on I- WAIT– uh WE LIGHT CANDLES!!!
people are always like “if I had a time machine, I’d go and visit medieval times” or some dumb shit like that. you know what I’d do if I had a time machine? young Harrison Ford.
me, in every rpg: im gonna be hardass mcjerk this time
me, probably 10 minutes later: and you get a pardon and you get an alliance and you get a hug