aries: Littlefinger marries Sansa off to Ramsay because he also likes to live dangerously
taurus: Loras Tyrell, The Gay Knight Who’s Gay. He has Sex. With Men. Because He’s Gay. He breathes homosexually
gemini: Jaime Lannister engaging in consensual rape lol amirite ladies
cancer: What the fuck even happened in the House of The Undying what hte fukc
leo: Yara Greyjoy running from some barking dogs and a shirtless Ramsay
virgo: *masturbatory, ableist original monologue about beetles which does nothing to further the storyline but takes up 5 minutes of screentime*
libra: The Sand Snakes. Like. All of them. And Ellaria. Actually, Dorne. Like, all of it. Where is Arianne
scorpio: Skeletons and fireballs at Bloodraven’s cave
sagittarius: Talisa
capricorn: Melisandre gets naked to solve a problem that can easily be solved with like, words
aquarius: LeBronn Jaime’s whacky dornish rescue mission
pisces: lol whos Tysha anyway