solicitorfrommars:

Can I get on the plane now please?

NO ITS DELAYED 9 HOURS

Okay

…

Any updates?

YEAH WE TOOK OFF WHILE YOU WERE IN THE BATHROOM. BECAUSE WE HATE YOU. NOW TAKE THIS MEAL VOUCHER THAT DOESNT WORK- GO- FETCH!

Okay

…

Can I have a sandwich please?

NO

Okay

YOURE A LITTLE FAT GIRL ARENT YOU?

Noo

SAY IT

I’m a little fat girl

…

Can I please go home on an airplane?

NO, IN FACT, WERE GONNA FRAME YOU FOR MURDER, AND YOURE GONNA GO TO JAIL FOR 30 YEARS

Why are you doing this?

🎶BECAUSE WERE DELTA AIRLINES, AND LIFE IS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE🎶

…

Lets see if southwest has any flights