wholivesdiestellsyourstory:

What Ham says: Sit down John, you fat mother f*cker!

What Ham means: An open letter to the fat, arrogant, anti-charismatic, national embarrassment known as “President John Adams” (sh*t). The man’s irrational. He claims that I’m in league with Britain in some vast international intrigue?! Bitch, please! You wouldn’t know what I’m doing. You’re always going berserk, but you never show up to work. Give my regards to Abigail next time you write about my lack of moral compass. At least I do my job up in this rumpus. That line is behind me; I crossed it again, while the president lost it again. Aw, such a rough life, better run, tell your wife that the boss is in Boston again. Let me ask you a question. Who sits at your desk when you’re in Massachusetts? They were calling you a dick back in ‘76 and you haven’t done anything new since. You’re a nuisance with no sense. You’ll die of irrelevance. Go ahead, you can call me the devil, you aspire to my level, you inspire to malevolence. Say hi to the Jeffersons! And spies all around me, maybe they can confirm. I don’t care if I kill my career with this letter, I’m confining you to one term. You fat mother f*cker!