The Signs Celebrating New Year’s Eve

cancercornastrology:

Aries: Drinks four glasses of champagne; breaks Gemini’s noisemaker in half and gives it back

Taurus: Has seconds and thirds from almost every tray of hors d’oeuvres

Gemini: Obnoxiously blowing the noisemaker in everyone’s ears; gets into a fight with Aries after they break it because wtf am I supposed to do now??

Cancer: Sees Libra’s hat and wants to copy them, so they go out to buy one, then cry when they get back because the party’s already over

Leo: The host of the party; tells everyone to look at the TV when they see Aquarius and Sagittarius waving

Virgo: Gives Pisces apple cider because they should never come into contact with alcohol…ever

Libra: Is wearing a flickering New Year’s Eve hat; attracts a significant amount of attention, especially from Pisces

Scorpio: Secretly takes pictures of Pisces and Libra and stores them in a safe place

Sagittarius: Got bored of the party; took Aquarius and went to celebrate in Times Square instead

Capricorn: Temporarily wonders where Sagittarius and Aquarius went; ends up having to break up the fight between Aries and Gemini

Aquarius: Is in Times Square with Sagittarius, jumping up and down wildly while waving to the signs through the camera

Pisces: Somehow manages to get drunk off of apple cider; kisses Libra once the countdown finishes

-Doctor